Winter Break is Coming

Yes, we teachers look forward to breaks as much as our students. Before you non-educators turn away or become envious of our breaks, let me defend it ever so briefly. First, I teach year-round, including summers. We get a brief break at the end of summer, spring break, and winter break. I will never be able to request time off for a cheap cruise in February or experience a different part of the country during the fall until I retire. Also, when your job is to teach/mentor/lead hundreds of young people (I had nearly 150 students this semester), one needs some mental decompression to be able to do it all over again. It’s not manual labor, but it is a very mentally challenging and exhausting experience.

Anyway, enough of that… winter break is coming! And with all of my breaks, I like to make a to-do list or bucket list of sorts. I love reading such lists from others too. So if you have some time off this holiday season and have some pretty cool things you hope to do, comment and let me know. It’s amazing how one’s goals can inspire someone else to reach similar goals. Some of mine are silly—the geek and relaxation time I need, and some are serious—my teaching and my writing, for example.

Here’s a nice quick and condensed to-do list that I will be adding to and revising throughout break. Because this blog restarted due to my writing goals, I’m going to share a little more about my current writing goals and status below the to-do list for anyone who is interested.

-         Play and beat an old NES game (Legend of Zelda?)

Play and maybe beat a new(ish) game (The Last of Us?)

Re-read an old favorite book

Read at least ten new books

Catch up on all movies I wanted to see in 2014

Plan a Turbo Kick/P90X Christmas party (glow sticks for Turbo workout!)

Re-watch my favorite episodes of The Newsroom, Breaking Bad, and House of Cards

Watch Christmas episodes of old favorites like Quantum Leap and MacGyver

Go for a long walk through the nearby cemetery after a good snowfall

Go sledding

Have a snowball fight

Build an alien-looking snowman or some kind of creepy snowman (Boy, it better snow sometime this winter break!)

Find an agent for my book

Have someone(s) new read and critique my query & parts or all of manuscript

Try new fitness classes and take a break from my own for one week

Improve strategy and organization for Cougar Karate

Complete a day by day outline of amazing and motivational activities for public speaking

Revise intercultural communication to align with new text book

Get out of town for at least one day

Organize all closets and cabinets

Begin writing book #2 (it’s already been outlined!)

Revise short stories I’ve written and saved that are over ten years old (publish to blog?)

Dinner or visits with family and friends I don’t see very often

And of course it goes without saying I hope to have lots of Christmas and New Year’s activities with friends and family

What would you add? What unique things would you like to do? I’d like this list to be dynamic and am open to ideas and inspiration!

And because I can ramble on and on, here’s some elaboration on a few of the above for anyone who is interested.

Writing

My biggest goal is to find an agent. I’ve revised and revised and revised a book I’m super proud of and I’m finally fishing for a good agent who can help me to take it to the next step. I don’t want to self-publish (no offense to those who do). I’m shooting for the stars here. But I’m not sending it to hundreds of people. That’s the difficult choice here. I’m researching hours a day reading bios and client lists and trying to find THE ONE. The one needs to be someone who loves thrillers, young adult stories, horror, pop culture, and nostalgia. It would be helpful to have an interest in the education system and teaching too, as I have a few good insights there. It would help if you love Stephen King (especially early King) and Ernest Cline. And it sure helps if you love to read the kind of stories that make you double check that your door is locked at night. Anyone out there? I’ve got quite the story for you.

So goal one: find THE ONE agent who sees as much joy and value in my story as I do. He or she is out there. It’s a big world, and so many agencies are very straight forward about how difficult it is if you don’t have big publishing credentials. I’ve got maybe 20 magazine articles—that I was paid for—on my “this is how I earned money writing” list. But that ain’t nothing when it comes to a book.

Speaking of which: Do I have any friends out there who would read my query and perhaps the first 30 pages? I haven’t posted much on Facebook about it. This blog is more for those who go out of their way to read it without me always posting on Facebook that I have a new post. (FYI: I do post it on Twitter, but that’s for the goal of connecting with others around the world with similar interests- We can learn so much from others.)

If you’d be willing to give me some honest feedback and are a good friend I can trust, let me know. It helps to have a few pairs of eyes. (And of course if you want to read the whole thing, we can talk about that too!)

So… what are your winter break goals?

On Passion

One of my favorite ideas about passion comes from Ken Robinson’s book The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything. If you’ve never heard of Robinson, you're missing out. Check out some of his more popular YouTube videos, such as “Do Schools Kill Creativity?” and “Changing the Education Paradigm.”

In the Element, Robinson provides a formula for finding one’s passions, and I use it frequently in the classroom. What’s teaching without motivating, after all? His formula: I get it, I love it, I want it, where is it? I’ll let you read his book for his complete explanation behind the formula, but for this post, I’d like to put it into the context of my passions with the hope of inspiring some readers.

So, what do you get? Looking back, I see I “got” a lot of things, like math. Believe it or not, and contrary to the stereotypes in my field of communication, I was excellent at math. Got an A+ in every single class. In fact, when I graduated from Eureka College with a Bachelor’s in English, my advisor mocked my scores on our senior graduating test. I actually scored higher in math than I did in English! My parents always wanted me to be an accountant. They associated numbers with money and thought that would make me rich. But I didn’t love math. I joke that I hate it (and I do hate parts), but it simply doesn’t get me excited.

When I started thinking about college majors, I had to think: what does get me excited? Reading got me excited. Writing sure floats my boat. I love a great story that will keep me up late at night, and I love taking time to reflect on life or create fiction in writing. It was only natural then that because I loved reading and writing that I should major in English.

But what did I want to do with that? I knew before English was going to be my major that I wanted to teach. I had a TERRIBLE high school experience. Not the kind where a kid does bad in school and comes home and complains that the teacher hated him. No, I had the kind of experience where there was NO PASSION in the teachers I had. They were never excited. They had no enthusiasm. There are a few bright exceptions to this rule, but as a generalization, my high school lacked energy in the classroom. It was boring.

I made a decision early that I would teach. I would bring passion to the classroom that would knock my students’ pants off (and you know that’s figurative; we’d get in a lot of trouble if it were literal!).

I looked back at this formula and thought: Ok what do I get, what do I love, and what do I want? Over time, the answers grew. We get better at things as we get older; we find new passions. It’s never too late to change paths. I wanted to make a difference for teenagers, and I devoted ten years of my life to them. I think I did make a difference for several. It was amazing. Not only did I teach English, I started teaching martial arts (something else that I got and loved).

Before long, I fell in love with new subjects like communication and went back and earned a master’s degree in the subject. Not long after that I fell in love with group fitness. And let me be clear on something: I don’t love exercise. Seriously. Show me a treadmill and a weight room, and I’ll fall asleep. I’ve done them and will because that kind of stuff is good for us. But SNOOZE! I fell in love with group fitness—the music, the energy, the people. I don’t exercise because I love it; I do group fitness because I love that!

So what’s the point to all of this? I think it’s important to reflect on what got us to where we are today and to reflect on where we are going. I was good at math and could have made a lucrative career out of it, but I chose not to because I knew I’d be bored. I chose something that I understood and loved—that’s where passion starts. But it goes deeper. It has to go to the I want it stage—meaning that we will do virtually whatever it takes to get there.

For example, when I fell in love with communication, I’d already been a high school English teacher for years. But I like variety and was ready for something new. I already had one master’s degree, and let me tell you: Master’s degrees are not easy! So much research and writing! But my next goal was to teach communication at the college level. To do that, I knew I’d need a specific MA in that subject and would need to get my foot in the door at the college I wanted to teach. For me, it was not only the I love it attitude that was motivation; it was the I want it attitude that meant the most. It meant working full-time at the high school, taking classes for that new master’s, and teaching a night class for the college the moment I was qualified so that they would get to know me and hopefully want me there more (and hey, they did. Thanks, hiring committee!).

But there’s still one part of Robinson’s formula I haven’t discussed and still a reflection on “what’s next." The last part of Robinson’s formula: Where is it? Some people know what they love and want but have trouble finding a specific job for that passion. Then they give up. There’s no easy answer here, but if you have a passion and don’t know what to do with it, then pick up Robinson’s book. I think the worst thing imaginable would be giving up a passion simply because there’s no market for it in your area or no specific kind of job for it that would pay the bills. There must be other solutions and opportunities. If you are that passionate, you will find them or invent them. Right?

As for me, I’m teaching what I want and where I want for life. It’s the best place imaginable. I don’t want a PhD or to teach at a university. That would be more about research and publication, and like math, it would be something I could do but would bore me. I love teaching, and I don’t want those other responsibilities. Let me teach. I will always be a student and will always be learning, but let my job be 100% student-centered and I’ll always be happy.

But now I focus on writing. It’s always been something I got, loved, and wanted…. Writing stories, sharing ideas, inspiring others from new contexts. I’m already doing that, I suppose. I share my stories with close friends who express interest in reading them. And we always have the blogosphere and social media. That’s fine, but I think it helps to set sights on the best possible outcome and always work for that. We can accomplish our dreams. It may not happen overnight, but if you are persistent and patient, then anything is possible.  (Tweet this.)

Ideas for Character Development, Novel Update, and More

Characterization Ideas

In one of the “light bulb” moments during a lecture I was giving this afternoon, it dawned on me that I have an entire Playbook of character ideas I’ve been overlooking. (Yes, that is a “How I Met Your Mother” reference.)

I’ve tried to grow characters organically. I don’t want to force characterization. But still, I think these are some ideas that may help writers develop characters deeper. My current book is “finished” (see next section), but I may play with some of these scenarios during the next revision.

One of the courses I teach is Communication Theory, and today I gave a special lecture, called “Academic Deep Dive” on comm theory topics to our college transfer students. It dawned on me—why don’t I use some of the situations when writing? Sure, we all use these to some extent, but there’s some great stuff here, some opportunities to really see what our characters will do when presented with the following challenges.

One such challenge, which comes from Social Exchange Theory, would be to put a character in a relationship in which the costs outweigh the benefits. Again, I think some of this is natural, but I think we can add to the challenges to see what our characters do. I want fun, meaningful relationships in my stories, but we also need conflict in order to create dynamic characters. So one such way I’m going to play with that is really examine the relationships in my stories and ask, “Ok, who is staying in a relationship in which the costs outweigh the benefits? And why?”

Without giving too much of my current story away, my main character puts up with a neglectful, alcoholic mother. He tries to reach her and clearly puts in a lot of time or “cost” to this relationship. He gets back nothing. Why does he stay? Well, she’s his mom of course, and probably the people with whom we’d give the most “cost” to would be family, right? But what about friends, love, infatuation? Can you add elements to characterization where one character gives a lot and another gives nothing? What might happen then? I sure can think of past friendships that ended because they cost too much (not in money, but in a plethora of other sacrifices we make). Playing with that concept may be a way to further develop our characters and their relationships.

A second approach, which comes from dialectical theory, would allow us to play with contradictions in our characters. Without getting into the academics behind the theory, it simply asks a few interesting questions:

      -- Why do we want to be intimate and close with others yet still crave alone time?

      -- Why do we enjoy routines but also have the urge to be spontaneous?

      -- Why do we want to publicly express ourselves yet maintain privacy too?

So how do we balance these oppositions in our own lives? And how can we use them to add to our stories? 

First, it’s important to recognize that both needs—the contradictions—are natural. We need routine and spontaneity. It’s all about balance (isn’t life?). So here’s what I want to do: I want a character who has always wanted love and affection and closeness to wonder why he or she also feels the need for personal space. I want to see that conflict. I want to play with a character that is all about routine and pair him/her with someone completely spontaneous and see what happens. I want someone who feels the urge to open up publicly (to the point of vulnerability) but feel confused and challenged at the competing need for privacy (which could be especially interesting using today’s social media too!).

I could list a hundred other theories and ideas (and I would describe more if any other writers find the above situations interesting—just tell me you want more, please). They may not be all that unique and some are pretty common sense, but here’s the real beauty of it: We can ALL relate to these situations, and that may make others relate to our characters more too. I hope they are helpful and interesting. That’s the only reason I share them.

Novel Update

For those interested, I’ve “finished” my novel for a second time on Sunday. I had been combing through the chapters, making notes, adding and deleting, and generally making it a better book. I sent out just a few queries for now to agents who I think would be interested in my particular story. Please wish me luck. I’m hoping for an early Christmas present!

Regardless, my goal was to finish by December, so I met that goal. Come December, I will be on winter break from the college. Between now and then, I will again distract myself with other projects and try not to look at or think about my book. But the first day I’m on break: I’m re-reading and making notes all over again. Over winter break, if I don’t hear from an agent (or even if I do, because we all know that a book is always a work in progress until the moment it’s printed and hits the shelves), it will have a third major revision, perhaps using some of the ideas I described above.

If I were my own critic (and of course we all are), I would say this: I have the coolest plot imaginable to me. One of the first lessons a writer learns is to write the story he or she always wanted to read. If you’ve followed this blog, you know some about my geek interests, and this book plays on that. It’s the horror adventure story I would always have loved to read.

During the second major revision, I added more depth to the characters, fixed plot holes, and fine tuned some writing. My weakness was characterization. I was focused on the COOLEST STORY EVER and needed to add more depth to my characters. During this winter’s third revision, they’ll get even deeper. And maybe if you’ve followed this blog and get to read the book whenever it comes out, you’ll remember these little posts. “Hey- he talked about that adding those conflicting behaviors on intimacy/privacy, routine/spontaneity, and public/private—I see those here!” And for the few closest readers I have, I hope you will get a kick out of it.

The book will be published. Someday. I don’t give up.

Other randomness

There are a few friends out there I don’t talk to as much as I’d like. We are all so busy. So I thought I’d add some general randomness at this point.

I am SO EXCITED about spring semester. For the first time at the college, I get to teach a pure public speaking class as a face to face elective (I’ve taught a hybrid online version where students have to meet to do presentations but not an entire semester every class face to face). I sat down today—another distraction from the book too—and wrote about two pages of ideas for the class. The class is almost already full too, and registration has only been open a couple of weeks. Most people signing up for it are taking it as an elective. They’ve already had their COMM requirement. How cool is that? People volunteering for public speaking!? No matter what, I take that as a huge teaching win, and I can’t wait for spring. It will be the best class I’ve ever taught and the most motivational, inspirational, and fun. That’s my goal.

There were about a half dozen other things I wanted to include, but I’ll be honest: I have Modern Family and the Goldbergs on the DVR. And of course American Horror Story coming up soon. :) So I think I need to wrap this up and say good night and save other randomness for a future blog. As always, thanks for those of you who are interested enough to read this much. Leave me a comment or send a message if you wish, and I hope to talk more with all of you soon.

My Writing Process & My Gratitude

I’m no Stephen King, but don’t get me wrong: I love his works and am insanely jealous. I feel his process is much like a buffet: when he writes, he has so much to say, and then must cut it down to find the perfectly delicious meal for his reader.

I’m quite the opposite. This summer I wrote a book, and I am quite proud of it. But it was only a skeleton, a shell of its potential. After getting feedback from some of my closest friends, I let it sit and rest. I spent the month of September distracting myself with a blog post a day, not to mention of course my full-time career, side jobs and personal life. It’s hard for me. I’m impatient. I want the perfect product now, but I forced myself to let it rest if I want it to be its best.

Now, I’ve re-read it and have added to the bones: there’s meat and organs pumping blood through the thin skin that covered the bones. It’s more beautiful than ever, and when I’m published, I’ll talk about this process. Sometimes you have to give an idea time to grow.

I read parts of the revisions tonight to my most trusted reader, and I can tell you that I am so excited by the possibilities. I have for you an exciting and fun adventure. I have something I cannot wait to share, and it’s so hard, you know this if you know me, to keep the details to myself. Maybe I will need to let it rest again and revise again, and maybe that process will repeat for a long time. Or maybe it will be ready tomorrow. I don’t know.  I only know I enjoy the process. That’s what keeps me going, as it should for all writers.

The writing process: write non-stop until you are finished. Rest and do something else. Re-read weeks or months later. Revise and write some more. Repeat and repeat and repeat until you are finished.

This will be successful, I have no doubt. But I struggle with human factors when I share my process with others. I kind of hate social media (and I kind of love it too, of course). I’ve posted a few things about my writing. You know, some people post pictures about their shoes or do a seflie in hopes of getting “likes.” I post big dreams and goals and hope to get encouragement, not likes. There have been many great friends who say supporting words, and there have been many so called “friends” who have said nothing about one of my biggest goals. Does it make me a bad person to think that these people kind of suck? Have you ever felt this way? You share something so close to your heart, something you’ve poured hours of time in to, and they say nothing? This feeling is worth talking about, I think. As a teacher, I always will encourage students’ goals. Of course, not everyone is a teacher, and not every teacher is all that encouraging. But for my dear friends who have read these blogs and made an effort to say “good luck” in any kind of way, I will remember you. You are a part of that writing process. Encouragement is fuel to our motivation as writers. Criticism can be good fuel too, so of course, if you get to read a sample, don't hold back. We need good criticism as much as we need encouragement. 

Yes, the best thing we can do for one another is to encourage dreams. Maybe it will be nothing. Maybe it will be something. But no matter what dreams your friends have, wouldn’t you rather be one of the friends who supported and encouraged? The real purpose of this blog isn’t about my process or status on the novel I am writing. It’s a tribute to all of those who support the dreamers.

Like many goals, writing is journey meant to be enjoyed. It’s not about a destination or success. Remember that in any path your friends may take. Support their dreams and journeys. I have great pride in the stories I have written, and I have every confidence great things will happen with those stories. However, it’s also true nothing may come of them. Then all we dreamers have to fall back on is the support others gave to us. That support is enough to keep us going.

The best parts of social media are when we support one another. I’ve always been convinced that the more we support others, the more success we ourselves will have.

So thank you to my close friends who have read and supported my work over the last several months. I have made incredible progress and will never give up. And if you know anything about me, I always follow through with my goals.

I just want you to know that I deeply appreciate the encouragement you have provided me. And I will be there too to encourage you.

Dance with the Devil

I look back at all of these blog posts, and I think: Man, September is the greatest! Look at how much I did and how much energy I had to write about it. There’s some truth there. I think when the weather starts to change and we realize we are limited on time to be adventurous then we do as much as possible. I’ve embraced the fact that “winter is coming.” I’ve done everything I can for the yard and the house to prepare. But my writing has suffered, until this weekend. I’ve been revising the novel I wrote this summer, a book I am so very proud of. I added 4000 words this weekend to a “finished” novel. Not so finished, eh? I have a new development that is essential to the story, the leaves on the trees that I failed to include when describing the forest, so to speak. It will be better than ever, and I can’t wait to share it with the world! I think I have another 10,000 words to include and then will revise again, mostly cutting instead of adding. My goal is to do this over our college’s winter break and have a brand new book to send to agents and publishers by the New Year.

So what else has been happening? There are so many things, and it’s late and I don’t know how much time I have to devote to everything. But I need to reflect. I’ve missed reflecting via writing. It’s so important. And not just a Facebook status. A genuine “dear diary” kind of entry is needed. So here goes.

Well, there’s work. There’s always work. But I love my job. So freakin’ much. So much it hurts on the days I’m not at my best. I think of how I could have treated students better, and I hate when my human emotions affect my classroom performance. Without getting into specifics, I’ll just say this: Teachers are humans too, of course, although it may be hard to see that sitting in a school desk. But some days I worry about other things in life, and then I worry I wasn’t at 110% and I hate that. I always want to be at 110%.

I try to do more at work then just my specific duties, and that’s where the karate club and exercise classes come in. I love both of those programs a ton. Still, I wonder why more people aren’t involved, and that’s my theme for students: WHY DON’T YOU GET INVOLVED!? So many great opportunities. I want to be the teacher who also inspires people to get involved outside the classroom, and I’m afraid if judged solely on data, I’m not doing very well. Maybe 1% of my students have tried the exercise classes or martial arts club? I’m a proponent that we must use our bodies as much as our minds, and I wonder why more don’t take risks and get involved in such unique opportunities. People often ask how I have as much energy as I do, and the answer is simple: Because I’m active! Of course, I know that so many of our students go from full-time school to full-time jobs, and it’s IMPRESSIVE that they have that kind of determination.  Still, I want to see more involved.  

The more I write, the more I think of the past, and how lucky I have been. My title for this blog comes from the 1989 Batman movie starring Michael Keaton. I watched it last night on Netflix, perhaps for the first time since it premiered. The Joker says to Batman, “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” It’s a fun line that has always stuck with me, but it makes me think of my childhood and my mom. I remember McDonald’s doing a Batman promotion at the time, and they had special cups for each of the characters. I wanted them all when I was a kid, and I remember my mom spending her evenings and weekends appeasing her child’s silly goals and driving me to every single McDonald’s in the city until I had collected them all.

How beautiful is that?

But at some point, I also lost interest in those hard to collect cups and must have thrown them all away. I don’t have a single one today, and we had moved a couple of times. I assume all were trashed in the moves. Isn’t that a little sad?

Today, and you know this if you’ve read previous blogs, I tend to hold onto items from my youth as if they were worth millions. It’s not the material value that is of importance; it’s the memories. I grew up with people who supported my dreams and goals, no matter how silly. Mom recently asked, “So are you going to quit teaching to be a full-time writer?” That’s how much faith she still has in me. And that is beautiful. (And no, I will always teach. I love it too much to stop, but thank you for having faith that I could make enough money to support myself by only writing.)

So, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Ha.

There are dozens of other things going on. I hope to write and reflect more soon.

But for now, I'll end with this thought:

I worry our younger generations are so wrapped up in capturing each and every moments of their lives, from selfies to recording live concerts on their cell phones instead of living in the moment and simply enjoying them. When I think of the moments from my past that meant the most, they had nothing to do with recording them via technology. They had everything to do with recording them via heart and soul.

It's why a line like "have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" can jolt me right back to my childhood.

It's why I think it's healthy to write, like this, and reflect on the joys (and sorrows) of our past. I know people who delete online updates and pictures because they didn't get enough "likes." Wow. The reason I post at all is to preserve memories. It shouldn't be about likes. You like it. That's all  the matters.

I just want to find the balance between recording our lives via technology and living in the moment. Between writing about life and living life. Perhaps that's why I've slowed down a bit in blogging. At first, all I did was want to write write write. But we have to take as much time to live, read, and love.

Thanks for reading, friends.

October Happenings

It’s been nearly two weeks since I posted a blog, quite the change from September. But you’ve missed these, right? Ha. My September goal was to write something each day and take a long break from my novel. These last few weeks have also been quite hectic. I’m not the biggest fan of posting a blog that is more like a “dear diary” entry, but a lot has happened in a few weeks, so I am going to ramble a little.

The last weekend of September I saw one of my best friends get married and reconnected with old friends. That was a beautiful and fun weekend.

At a great friend's wedding. Congrats, Rachel!

I also spent a weekend getting trained in a new fitness program called KettleWorX, choreographed kettle bell routines to music. I am proud to say that I am a fully certified “pass plus” KettleWorX trainer now!

This is my third fitness cert and definitely one of the
hardest to pass. I'm also a certified P90X trainer and
Turbo Kick instructor. 

I spent a weekend night at my favorite haunted house, where (and I don’t mean to make fun) a friend with a heart condition had to be escorted out because it was all too much. That’s not something to laugh at, but damn if I don’t love that kind of intensity when it comes to horror. FrightNight in Forest City did not disappoint this year. (We made sure he was ok. And then the rest of us continued while he sadly sat outside.)

Can you guess who had to sit out? Everyone is ok now!

I saw a fantastic musical at Illinois Central College called Avenue Q that starred a former student who is now a friend and was directed by my boss at the college. I cannot believe the talent of all of our students. So incredible. And if you’ve never seen Avenue Q but have a chance to do so, don’t miss out. It’s hilarious and naughty but has a good deal of heart in between the obnoxious humor.

Most tragically, the son of one of my best friends died. I am happy to have spent some time with her and am happy (happy is not exactly the right word, but you understand) to have been able to go to the visitation and the funeral and see her beautiful family. All of that is her story to tell, and I don’t feel right writing more about it. I just want her to know that it is something we all will never forget, and somehow over time, all will be stronger and closer.

Then I managed to dress us as Hulk Hogan and give my college students a laugh. In one class, the students tried to sneak out cell phones and discreetly take pictures of me. I don’t know why they felt the need to be discreet. I was happy to pose for them! (By the way, I didn’t dress up randomly as Hulk; it was part of an 80s theme day at the college. Not that there’d be anything wrong with that if I did, right?)

My Comm 110 class, several students also dressed 80s
style. That's me front and center. WHATCHA GONNA DO!

And then today is my father’s birthday. My dad passed away four years ago this December. I’ve been using that Timehop app for Facebook. Most of the time, it’s pretty fun. You get to see the silly status or pictures you uploaded on this day for each year in the past that you had Facebook. But recently Timehop has been very sad. I’m seeing all the old status updates I posted about my dad to keep friends and family in touch. Today I saw a post about spending time with him on his birthday. It was the last time I would ever be able to see him on his birthday.

He was basically paralyzed in October of 2010. On October 10, 2010, I visited him in his nursing home. There was no gift to buy; there was nothing he could do anymore. ALS had melted his nervous system, and he just asked me to scratch his face and his arms. He still itched and felt uncomfortable, but there was nothing he could do about it. Isn’t that just terrible? Every time I stopped for a moment to rest, he’d cry, “Please don’t stop.” I spent the day talking to him and scratching him. It is probably the saddest yet most rewarding birthday I ever spent with him. And the last.

Today we had a midterm break, one day off from the college. So I devoted my day to revising the novel I wrote this past summer. It’s been over a month since I looked at it. What a much needed break that was! Today, fully refreshed, I started re-writing. It has a new title, more development of characters, a brand new prologue, and a new sense of direction. The meat of the story is still all there, but I’ve cut a lot of the fat out of the story and added some much needed seasoning. Of course, this process is going to take several weeks, but I’m hoping to have one day a week to spend with the story, and I have a new goal of having a full revision completed by January 1.

I envy those who can write a perfect story the first or even second time around. This will be my third major revision, but the first one after such a long break from the book. I’m very excited about what it is becoming.

And of course, all of the influences and happenings that occurred this month: You’ll see that they have made some kind of impact on the story. I’m not saying Hulk Hogan is a character, but there is nostalgia and a love of past heroes. And there is death and tragedy, but also escape and hope.

Thanks for being with me on this journey, friends. 

The Rapist in the Neighborhood

Have you felt someone watching you?

Have you heard a noise in the house and have been convinced someone is there?

Have searched for an intruder with a baseball bat/butcher knife/gun in hand?

Have you walked around the outside of your home at two in the morning, certain that someone is hiding in the bushes?

Fear captivates us all.

When I was a child, we lived near a convicted rapist. This is no joke, but this is before the time of sex offender websites. (Have you explored those and found the creeps in your neighborhood? It’s frightening.)

But our rapist did not keep to himself. He enjoyed the attention. He had a large tree in his front yard, a trunk as wide as a car, leaves like a cloud that hid his window.

He knew the neighbors knew about him. He knew the neighbors were terrified of him.

My grandmother was convinced he was out for her. In her 60s at that time, she cried at night, “He’s gonna get me! I just know it!” I laughed and replied, “Grandma, I doubt he wants those 60 year old chicken legs.” She frowned at me and locked her door.

Then the most interesting thing happened in our neighborhood. He used large, white adhesive tape and wrote a letter on the car-sized trunk of his tree each day. The first letter was “I.”

“What does it mean?” the neighbors asked.

The next day he wrote the letter “A.”

We held our breath and waited for the next day. The new letter was “M.”

“I am… I am what?” the neighbors wondered.

Then he followed a 14 year old girl home from the park. My friends and I spent an evening planning a battle.

“What should we do?” I asked my older, wiser neighbor friend. He was 16.

“Eggs,” he said with confidence. “Eggs.”

The next day, with that obnoxiously large white tape, he put up the letter “W.” We responded by tossing eggs at his front door and windows, laughing at these adult fears with a childlike naivety.

His message continued, one letter each day. After “W” came “A.” Then “T.” Then “C.” And then “H.” Next was “I.” Then “N.” And “G.” And then “Y and O and U.”

“I AM WATCHING YOU,” my grandmother read, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist. But he wasn’t done.

On the next day after the message was complete, he used the white tape to construct a smiley face. That was the last thing he wrote on his tree.

“I AM WATCHING YOU :)”

The older boys in the neighborhood had more than enough. They moved from eggs to baseball bats, and in one crazy night, they took the bats to his door, to his car, and to his windows. They bashed in the door, shattered the glass windows all along the front and sides of his house, and turned his cheap car into a nothing more than an incredibly dented piece of metal.

He called the cops on those kids, as I watched from the sidelines. I don’t know what happened to those brave and obnoxious teens. I was forced to go inside by my parents.

Later that summer, we read an article in the local paper about this man. He was arrested, thankfully, once again. He was caught by a police officer masturbating in a park while watching children. I had never been so disgusted in my young life.

This is one of the creepiest memories from my childhood at home, and I think he’d make a great villain in one of my stories. It took place in the early 90s, before the time of cell phones and internet. It was one of the last years before we could search online for predators. We lived in fear and ignorance. We had to read the paper each day for updates, as nothing was instant. And no one could post photos of the letters he put up on his tree each day to publicly condemn his behavior.

My grandmother really did think she would be attacked. This pervert really did stalk a 14 year old girl. We really did egg his house, and several older boys really did violently destroy much of his property. And they were punished while he smiled with his letters on his tree, that is until he was caught doing a disgusting public act near children.

He will be a villain in one my stories. He will do terrible things. And he will be punished for it.

Sting, a poem

Lots of metaphors here need to be strengthened. If you've been following my blog, you know a lot of this is my writing practice, a place to think and create. Here's a little poem I played with for about fifteen minutes. Not nearly enough time to make something great, but I'm keeping up with my goal of writing once a day. Have comments for strengthening the metaphors and clarifying the image? Share if you wish. But be kind. It's a lot easier to write about a random thought or insight in fifteen minutes than it is to construct a poem! This will be something I'd like to return to later and revise.

Sharp and surprising, that stinger.

The bee is gone before the pain sets in.

Rubbing my hand, there’s nothing to see

But a red mark and inflamed skin.

Where did it come from?

The villain is gone now, not a scent in the air.

I wonder about pain. I wonder about beauty.

I wonder about flowers and bees and perfect harmony.

There is beauty all around.

Look at that butterfly by the flower.

There is pain all around.

Look at the bruise on my hand.

Memories are like this.

A shock to the system from out of the blue.

One moment a smile. One memory a tear.

Dangerous hives bring sweet honey.

Life will bring you pleasure and pain.

There is no day without night, no spring without rain.

And joy can bring a powerful sting.

Even the most beautiful of days have bruises.

To a Dear Friend, With Love

This post is dedicated to a dear friend.

We are a part of nature. We know that as a part of nature, we live and we will someday die. Knowing that doesn’t make it any less sad, however. It’s a way of trying to be logical with our minds, but when it comes to death, it’s our hearts that are torn apart, and no logic or reasoning can sooth the pain of a broken heart.

It’s particularly tragic when someone far too young passes away. We view our lives with a series of milestones, and it’s deeply sad to know the many years of joy someone will never know. We cannot beat ourselves up on what we could have done. We must mourn and grieve, cry and yell. But we also must remember and celebrate life, take care of those around us, celebrate the years someone had, even if they were far too short.

I know a good mother. When talking to her about visiting a troubled son, she once told me, “I’m going to hug him and kick his ass. But probably not in that order.” She loved him no matter his mistakes, like a good mother. She did everything in her power to discipline and help him, like a good mother. She was always there for him. I hope you know that. We always have a thought that we could have done more. But you did everything you could. Everything.

It is not right for the old to bury the young. It is not right for a parent to bury a child. It is not right and it is not fair, and I can think of nothing worse in life.

My dad passed away at too young of an age. Only in his early 60s, he should have had many golden years to live and laugh. I had to see him die slowly, moving from hospital to hospital, from nursing home to nursing home, with no brothers or sisters to help, as I was an only child. When he passed, my family knew it was also a blessing because he was in so much pain. But still I suffered and cried. I remember trying to go to bed that first night, but I began sobbing uncontrollably. It hit me like the flu, powerful and terrible and uncontrollable. I moved from the bed to the bathroom, where I sobbed by the toilet. I will never forget that night, as I have never experienced such painful sorrow.

But even with that: I knew it was coming. I knew he would pass, and I guess you could say I was blessed that I had months to prepare for it. I cannot imagine the shock of losing a loved one, especially a young and healthy loved one. No preparation. No chance to say a final good-bye. It’s the epitome of tragedy. What does one do?

I don’t know. I’m not an expert and I have not experienced that. Cry. Cry a lot. Never be ashamed of tears or emotions. Cuss. Cuss a lot. Never be ashamed of the power of words. Pray. Pray a lot. Search for a deeper meaning. When those stages pass (and really they never do—I will be doing fine for months, and a memory of my father hits me like a bee sting out of nowhere and those emotions come back all over again), I think we have to learn and celebrate. Cherish the stories and the photos. Do something in his memory. Find a purpose to fulfill the emptiness. Celebrate the years he lived and all the times he helped others and made someone smile.

Who isn’t terrified of death? Who doesn’t absolutely dread the day we must deal with the loss of a loved one? We will have those days, and if you are fortunate to have many loved ones, then you may experience many such days over a lifetime.

I’ve always thought that you can’t fight emotion with logic. We will think that we could have done more, we will be terribly sad, we will hate the world that caused this, and we will cry. Telling yourself it’s not your fault is logical, but it doesn’t help. The only way I know how to fight emotions is to be emotional. Let the tears flow. But find ways to smile and laugh. Find positive emotions to fight the negative, and live your life. Your life is every bit as special too, and we cannot forget to live while mourning the death of a loved one.

This all may be garbage, who knows. But when I want to reflect, I take to pen or paper (or a keyboard).

Dear friend. I am here for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Please know that there are many people who love you, people who will help you stand tall when you feel weak.

All my love,

Joe

P.S. I know you’ve probably seen this before. I’m not shy in sharing it. I read it at my dad’s memorial, and it holds deep meaning for me. This is an excerpt from Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays With Morrie.

“I heard a nice little story the other day,” Morrie says. He closes his eyes for a moment and I wait.

“Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air — until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore."

“‘My God, this is terrible,’ the wave says ‘Look what’s going to happen to me!’”

“Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, ‘Why do you look so sad?’"

“The first wave says, ‘You don’t understand! We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?’"

“The second wave says, ‘No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.’"

I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again.

“Part of the ocean,” he says. “Part of the ocean.” I watch him breathe, in and out, in and out.

The Best Fitness Class is . . .

For those of you who have been reading this blog, I like to write a lot about accomplishing goals and striving for success. I'm also sharing little short stories and creative writing pieces at times, as one of my goals is to practice my writing. Fitness, however, is a huge part of my life, and I want to share some fitness motivation with you. And as a teaser, if you keep reading, I'm going to tell you what the BEST fitness class is!

No matter what you do in life or what you want to accomplish, I have always encouraged others to incorporate fitness. It sharpens the mind. It energizes us, we feel better, and we sleep better. When all of that happens, you find that you have more energy and greater focus for the other things you wish to accomplish. There’s just no excuse not to do it! And if you want to tell me that you’re too busy: foolishness! I can promise you that I'm pretty busy too. But I find time to brush my teeth every day because that’s important. You can find time to exercise too. Because it's important!

I love some time on my own in a weight room or out on a run, bike ride, or hike. It’s good to have that meditative, independent time. But what I want to do here is encourage you and challenge you to get involved in group exercise. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my fitness.

In group exercise, I’ve made new friends and found many new mentors and inspirations. I’m motivated by the great music and the fun atmosphere. I learn more about fitness and technique all the time. And I work harder and make the most of my time. You can get a great workout on your own, of course. But you will be motivated MORE, learn MORE, and have MORE fun in a fun setting with other participants chasing a goal similar to yours all the while being led by a motivated and trained fitness leader. My point: You get MORE out of group fitness!

I’ve been a certified fitness instructor for over three years now, and I work at a facility with dozens of great classes. So what should you try? And what’s the best? Let me tell you about a few of my favorites. These are some of the classes offered at the fitness center where I teach.

BODY PUMP: This is a full-body strength class that uses barbells and dumbbells. It’s fantastic for toning, weight loss, strength, and endurance. The moves are matched to music, and it’s always a motivating and rewarding class!

P90X LIVE: P90X LIVE is the group format of the classic home DVD series. Like Pump, you’ll get an amazing strength and endurance workout. It’s not choreographed to music; it’s more of a boot camp (do this one move for one minute), so if you prefer to work at your own pace but still have a motivating group environment, it’s a great option for you.

BODY COMBAT: What a great martial arts inspired class! You punch and kick your way to a leaner body with the spirit of a fighter. Moves are choreographed to music, but they are easy to follow and learn. You’ll feel like Rocky at the end of a workout!

TURBO KICK: Like Combat, it’s punching and kicking, but if Combat is the main fight, then Turbo is the victory celebration after the fight! It has a lot of athletic moves and a rave-like feel. There's a ton of variety to the choreography and you will never be bored. This class is all about energy and creating that party-like atmosphere.

BODY FLOW: It’s the ultimate yoga + Pilates class that leaves you feeling calm and refreshed. You’ll stretch the body and strengthen the core and end with meditation and relaxation. It’s an absolutely beautiful workout-- good for the body, mind, and soul.

RPM/Spinning: Who doesn’t love a bike? Now, add a fun instructor and high-energy music and take a spin with a group of motivated people! You’ll use resistance to burn mega calories and strengthen the body all in a fun and challenging atmosphere.

There are a ton of other classes, but I won’t lie: The above are my favorites to take. I teach P90X and Turbo Kick, but respect all of the classes. I recently got certified in KettleWorX and look forward to adding the uniqueness of kettle bell training to my workouts too.

Now, what’s the best?

The answer is simple. The best fitness class is the one you do. We all take pride in our individual interests, but egos aside, what matters most is that you are active. If you take a class, you’ll learn new things every time you workout. It’s not just working out; it’s an education too! And when you’re surrounded by other people and a motivating instructor, you will find yourself working harder than if you were on your own.

One of the common themes I write about when it comes to achieving goals is this: it’s often the positive influence of others that really help you succeed. The same is true for fitness. Try different classes and find a format that you like. You won’t like them all, and that’s ok. That’s why we have so many! There is something for everyone. You’ll find encouraging instructors and supporting participants like yourself, and when you put that together, you will get better results and will learn to enjoy exercise.

Do you have a favorite class? Why do you love it? Let me know in the comments. 

Who am I? Who are you?

I sit down during the summer of my life and the fall of the year to ask, “Who am I?”

We all need to consider the big questions from time to time.  The who, the why, the how.  We need to know who we are, what the world is, who others are.  We need to know about the big guy upstairs and little guys surrounding us.  Essentially, who we are, who I am, is somewhat dependent on those answers.

I am made of elements, atoms, cells, those science things.  I will die and someday return those elements to the earth as I decompose.  The earth will swallow me whole, and a part of me may appear in a rose, a dandelion, be eaten by a raven, a cow, and maybe pop up in a happy meal.  That’s kinda weird, but kinda true.  One way or another, we will return to the earth.  We are part of something bigger.

But who am I?  What makes me unique beyond those points?

I fear at 35 that I sometimes forget the face of my younger selves.  Who was I when I was 4?  7?  17?  21?  Who I am is who I was . . . time is a lazy river that never ends, and I am the part of that lazy river from when I was born up until now.

I try to remember what the child Joe felt.  I want to look him in the eyes and ask him questions about the world.  I wonder how he’d answer.  I want to know what the puberty Joe felt.  I want to remember his hormones, his humors, his fears. 

Sometimes I feel that I am on top of the world; sometimes I feel that the world is on top of me.  Sometimes I yell with enthusiasm; sometimes I can barely breathe at all.  But I don’t think this is unusual.  It just . . . is.  There are days where I can accomplish anything.  There are days where the actions of the world sadden me to a point where I don’t want to get out of bed.  Thank God for coffee.

I am inspired and passionate. 

I am my family.  I have the fire of my grandmother, the fire that caused her to hit my four year old head with a telephone receiver because I first did that to her.  I have the laziness of a hard-working grandfather (RIP) .  He worked his bones dry and desired nothing but comfort and relaxation in the winter of his life.  I am my father (RIP)—his jumbled brain and maniac thoughts.  I am my mother—empathetic and sensitive but coated with a turtle shell that grows harder to defend against life’s blows.  I always want to feel, always want that passion, and the few times I’ve lost it, the few times it began to slip away, I grew cold and frightened.  My passion and fire are everything.

I am the kindergartner who threw racecars into other kids’ building blocks to destroy their castles. 

I am the 7^th grader who almost failed science because I fell in love with the most beautiful girl in the world, and she had to sit right next to me.

I am the 8^th grader whose best friend did the worst thing a friend could do another.

I am the 9^th grader who pretended to be sick so that I could stay up late and finish a horror novel.

I am the 10^th grader who encountered great evil and was surrounded by a gang of kids violently swinging baseball bats.  I am he who said I would learn how to not be afraid.

I am the 11^th grader who had his self-esteem smashed by two teachers, teachers he respected, teachers who hated the youth they had lost.  I am he who vowed never to let young people encounter the wrath of such demons, at least not in my classroom.

I am the 12^th grader who rarely showed up for school because I lost enthusiasm for learning.

I am the college student who vowed his life would mean something.  I am he who decided to devote my energy to others, who found passion, meaning and inspiration all around him: some wonderful professors, amazing friends, and incredible experiences.

I have known true love.  I have experienced the loss of people close to me.  I have had a gun pointed at me head and thought I would surely die. 

Now, thirty-five years later I am just getting used to being called “Professor.” It feels good.  No, it feels great.  But we all wear many masks; we all have many faces.  These are but a few.

I am a little of all that surrounds me.  I am you, and you are me too. 

                                                                                      

World Championships & Life Lessons

When we take to social media or the blogosphere, it’s easy to want to brag about one’s successes. I’m guilty of that, but I hope such stories are also covered in humility.

Virtually all of our success, I would argue, is a combination of the positive influence of others and our own determination. But with that said, I thought I’d share a story of when I reached for the stars…. and fell on my face. I want to share examples like that though in the framework of something positive.

When I pursue a new goal, I think of two sayings.

Always happy; never satisfied & It’s ok to be disappointed; it’s not ok to be discouraged.

I just sent out two more queries this afternoon on the novel I wrote this summer. As I pursue that larger writing goal, I think of those two quotes.

In a previous blog, I wrote about how to reach success after setbacks. I’m trying to look at my ambitions from a variety of perspectives, trying to find some extra motivation to reach new goals. And I find it helpful to look at those setbacks more closely.

One of my biggest goals from the last decade was to compete and place in the US Open World Martial Arts Championships. After some success in local tournaments, my eyes got bigger. I was happy, you see, but not satisfied. That seems to be a pattern for me, much more so when I was younger. But I think having constant new challenges is healthy for the mind, body, and spirit. I do want to be happy—and I am—but I also don’t want to be too content or too satisfied that I never stop learning and challenging myself.

So back in the mid 2000s, I made a goal to place in the US Open World Martial Arts Championships. I competed in the adult black belt forms division in the summer of 2005. Talk about stage fright! ESPN was there recording on the main stage where black belts competed (no, I never saw myself on TV), and as I announced my form introduction, I thought I would surely throw up on the judges. Here are a couple of pictures of my actual forms competition at the world championships.

That was a great summer for training. I worked out every day, completing the formal 90 day P90X program for the first time that would later inspire me to want to become a P90X certified instructor. I also practiced my kata (form)  a dozen times a day at least.

There were over 100 competitors on that main stage, and only the top ten received formal awards. When all was said and done, I was not one of the top ten. I do not know where I ranked to this day, although I sure like to think it was somewhere in the teens! Not knowing my rank and not placing in the top ten disappoints me still. For all of you who work so hard to accomplish something: Have you ever felt that disappointment? I must have trained and worked out 3 hours a day that summer. And when I first looked back at all that hard work, it felt like it was for nothing. But that’s stupid, and if we think all the work we’ve put into something—even if we didn’t earn a reward—is worthless, we are missing the big point.

It’s ok to be disappointed. It’s not ok to be discouraged. All the hard work we put into our life’s ambitions makes us stronger, and even if we fail (I hate that word) at one goal, we can apply that determinism and the life lessons we learned to new goals.  Competing in the world championships was a great life experience for me, and the lessons I learned would be passed on to my martial arts students, several of whom competed in the US Open World Martial Arts Championships a couple years later. Several of those students placed and have “world champion” on their resume. That is pretty sweet!

You see, as I work to publish a novel (or any number of goals), I remember my training to compete in the US Open. I practiced every day. Well, the daily writing I do on this blog is some my writing practice (plus revisions and other stories I don’t want to share publicly yet). And if like my US Open experience, what if my biggest writing goals never come to life? That’s ok. Because I am having fun on this journey, and learning new things about myself, about others who share their writing and blogs with me, and about others who leave comments and send me messages. That makes all of this practice worth it. And if nothing else, my writing skills will sharpen as I age, right? My ability to compete athletically may not increase as I age. So thankfully this goal only requires some time to sit and imagine!

Thank you for all of you who encourage me to write and are rooting for me to succeed. Tell me about  your goals and ambitions, and I am every bit as happy to cheer for you too. Remember: It’s the influence of others plus our own determination that are the two main ingredients for success.

The Story of Hachiko

I love a spontaneous adventure, especially one that remains in memory for over a decade. I thought I’d share the great story of Hachiko the dog, an adventure my friend Rachel and I experienced back in the summer of 2000.

We were both studying abroad in Tokyo, Japan, and at school we heard this great story of a loyal dog and his love for his owner.

According to the story, Hachi was one of the most loyal dogs ever known. His owner took the subway to work, and each day, Hachiko would await for his owner’s return at the subway station. But one day, his owner passed away, and the dog waited and waited. This trailer can sum up the story best, although keep in mind this simply an Americanized version of the Japanese story.

(Note: When I heard this movie was on DVD, I bought it and purchased one night shipping from Amazon. The movie is ok.  Really, you only need to watch the trailer.)

When we heard this story, we were told a statue had been created in memory of Japan’s most loyal dog. Of course, Rachel and I wanted to find the statue. We left on an adventure, before the convenience of GPS and cell-phones, and had only a handy guide book and our imaginations to find the statue.

We got lost. Big time. We had left the subway station and wondered around in an unknown part of Tokyo. We had seriously gotten to the point where we thought we wouldn’t find our way back or even find anyone who could speak English and help us return.

I can laugh today at the memory of my friend threatening to throw my guide book over a bridge, but in that moment almost fifteen years ago, there were fears and tears and it was far from humorous. We hunched down on the pavement, studying the guide book, trying to find our way back, when a Japanese man came to us and said, “Do you two need help?” It was the most beautiful English we had ever heard.

“We were trying to find the Hachiko statue,” I said.

“Oh, you’re pretty far from that. It’s right outside the subway, in a courtyard by the main entrance.”

How did we manage to walk what felt like miles into an unknown part of the city when the statue was right outside the subway doors? I have no idea.

We made it back, thanks to the guidance of this kind man, and we got to see the statue.

Doesn’t look like much does it? Yeah, it was easy to miss. My friend, I think, distrusted my navigational skills the rest of our trip, but I’ll say this: There’s something about getting lost in a foreign country that sticks with you for a lifetime.

Inspired by the original story of Hachi and our not so epic adventure, I decided my first dog as an adult would be named Hachiko. Here he is.

(Note: A second great little story is that Rachel and I were roommates for a bit. She had taken a job teaching in France, and while she was gone, I couldn’t wait to get my puppy. Originally, I was going to wait until she returned. But no, I have always been impulsive. One day she called from France and heard me say, “Quiet, Hachiko!” Can you imagine her shock?)

Like the original Hachiko, I can’t imagine a more loyal pup. He cries when I leave the house, still to this day, ten years old now. I hear him cry through the windows as I get in my car to drive to work. He even knows when I’m leaving. Sadness consumes his eyes, and he physically shakes. He’ll try to sneak out with me too, and a couple of times, he’s even managed to run out and jump in my car as I’m trying to leave.

I can’t deny that sometimes it can be annoying, especially when I’m in a hurry. But when I can detach from that human craziness, it’s a beautiful thing to see a creature so loyal. It’s the most pure form of love and attachment. As the famous quote says, “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”

The Most Influential College Courses

A friend recently asked me how many college courses I have taken in my life.  The question made me think and dig out all my old transcripts just out of curiosity.  After browsing through decades of learning, I thought I’d write about my five of my favorite college courses, and I would like to ask you do the same.  Post them in your comments, or blog it and send me the link. 

I’m simply curious what people think have been their most influential courses.  There is nothing more important to me than education; learning has the power to change the world.

Intercultural communication

Not only does a good intercultural comm class teach you about world cultures (how do Americans communicate compared to the rest of the world, for example) but a good class will also teach you about co-cultures.  Co-cultures are the sub cultural categories among a bigger common culture.  For example, co-cultures include race, religion, gender, political orientation, educational level, socioeconomic status and more.  This course demonstrated the idea of being able to detach from my co-cultures in order to understand others better. It presents the big question: is there any really one right in the world? Is there one belief or way of doing things that is the only right way (like in religion and politics, but let’s not go there)? It also illustrated differences in communication styles and that no one way of communicating is superior.  For example, we know men and women communicate differently, but if we demand others communicate in the same way we do, then we’re being arrogant and ignorant about our differences.  I fell in love with this course years ago, and am thrilled to say that I now teach it at the college level.

Shakespeare

It may be a typical class a former English teacher would support, but I don’t think any human being should go without a full, intense study of as many of the bard’s plays as possible.  More so than any other, Shakespeare fully understood human nature, love, authority, gender roles, and relationships, and he loves to explore the dynamics in each of these categories.  It’s one thing to read them on your own.  It’s better to read them with an experienced professor and a class full of curious minded students.  This class resulted in some of the best discussions on being human that I’ve ever had.

Religion in the Modern World

Regardless of your religious belief or lack thereof, I would argue all people should explore religion from an academic viewpoint.  This course explored the belief systems in contemporary America and many academic theories that analyzed not just the specific belief systems but the overall need for belief.  It also analyzed the contemporary world of science and the role science plays in affecting religious belief.  The academic theories opened my mind to a new world of possibilities and explanations.  Today, too many people only believe in what they have learned at home or in a specific church or domination.  If we could understand why we believe the way we do (and why others believe differently), we’d live in a much more peaceful world.

Critical Thinking and Reasoning

This was an entire course devoted to teaching people methods of thinking!  In my classes, we naturally discuss reliability and validity. How many people have you known to share a meme or a news story on Facebook or Twitter without even checking to see if it were true? I’d argue that an entire semester devoted to critical reasoning would be a good addition to college education.  This course not only taught how to argue, but how to analyze arguments through logical appeals, emotional appeals, fallacies, and much more.  Even better, the skills learned in this specific course were applied to the top selling political texts of the time, newspaper editorials, and more.  It sure opened several eyes to the illogic that supersedes logic in today’s mass media and general thinking. 

Controversial Legal Issues

This course is well-suited for the critical thinker concerned about law and policy in contemporary society.  This was one out of two actual law courses I took from a law professor in my first master’s program, and the course set up a variety of interesting issues to be debated.  The primary challenge was to separate oneself from political and religious points of view and examine each issue through the historical precedent of law.  More so than the specific cases, it was the forced detachment from my own personal beliefs that was the most challenging and rewarding aspect of the class.

Even when I look at these five courses, I get a better understanding of myself.  My top five reflect my interest about culture, my desire to be practical and fair to different cultures, my passion for discussing the multiple aspects of human nature, my need to understand various religions and belief systems, my goal to promote and learn stronger critical thinking skills, and more. If you have a chance and see these courses or similar ones listed at your college, SIGN UP!   

So now it’s your turn, and I hope some of you do participate.  What are your most influential courses?  Why?  Post it in the comments, or blog it and share it with me.

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