Love is like a forest fire

I found the following in my college creative writing journal, from many years ago, the spring of 2000. I'm trying to remember what I thought, felt, and experienced when I wrote the following.

Love is like a forest fire

It only takes a spark

And your whole world goes up in flames.

Sounds good, right?
You’ve missed the point.

Everything burns.

You don’t expect much from a spark.

But when it takes over your world,

You demand it give to you what you gave to it.

Love is fire.

It strengthens as it destroys.

It requires your air to survive.

It takes from you, one branch at a time,

And it can be great,

If it lends you equal support.

Or it can tear you down,

One limb at a time,

A mountain of ash that was once a great forest of trees.

Do teachers have "favorites?" If so, how do you become the "favorite?"

I recently reviewed my fall 2014 student assessments of faculty, an anonymous questionnaire students can complete on our teaching. Although the majority of it was positive and complimentary, one criticism stood out to me: “Mr. Chianakas clearly has favorite students.” That’s all it said. No elaboration. I can only assume, however, that the person who wrote that did not consider him or herself one of my “favorites.” I’m taking time to reflect on that. It makes me sad if someone thinks that without good reason.

Then I looked up online reviews of one of my most inspirational professors ever, one I had for several classes back at Eureka College. I expected a perfect 5.0 “this professor is golden!” review. Sadly, she had a lot of criticism, and perhaps the biggest was that “she had favorites; and if you are not one of them, you will not get an A.”

Then I recalled a moment where I posted a comment on a former student’s Facebook page. He graduated years ago, and I told him about a student who reminds me of him and joked, “it’s hard not to want to give him an A—he’s just like you!” Then a snotty girl replied to my comment: “Yeah, you always had favorites.” Ouch. I think?

So I’m reflecting now, honestly, do I have favorites? And if so, how does a student become a “favorite?” Furthermore, how do I view those students who are not in my “favorite” category, if the above is true?

Do I have favorites? Absolutely! No, I don’t have a single favorite, but I certainly have favorites! They are the students who  participate in class, who show up virtually all of the time, who are respectful, who work hard, who smile, who can keep their phones out of sight for an hour, who genuinely try to work hard and improve all semester.

I teach communication, and I like an energetic, engaging class. I enjoy humorous exchanges with students. A classroom without laughter is like a Thanksgiving dinner without the turkey. It doesn’t feel right! I wonder if students who aren’t extroverts or outspoken see these exchanges and think: “Oh, he clearly likes X. He jokes around with X. X must be a favorite.” That’s probably true but it doesn’t mean I don’t like you!

You don’t have to be the student who makes me laugh or who speaks up in every class to be a “favorite.” I enjoy those students, but here’s what I enjoy even more: the hard-working ones who show up wanting to learn, wanting me to teach, wanting to improve their skills, trying to make connections from the classroom to how this will make careers and personal lives stronger: those students are my real favorites!

Who is not a favorite? Easy. It’s the student who misses a lot of class. It’s the one who can’t stop checking his or her damn cell phone. The ones who roll their eyes at an assignment. The ones who don’t try or don’t care. Apathy is easy to spot, and yes, an apathetic student is certainly not my favorite, but I promise I will give everything I have to erase that apathy with inspiration. And if that happens, if you were apathetic but find a reason to care (and no, not on the last week of class when you realize you’re failing), then you become one of my favorites too!

There’s a difference between being apathetic and being introverted. Both are obvious, but I respect those who are introverted (believe it or not, I’m pretty introverted when I’m not “on stage”). If I don’t crack a joke at you or ask you specifically about something in your life, it doesn’t mean I don’t care. It’s because some students are simply quiet in the classroom. There’s nothing wrong with that. The quiet ones are often my favorites too, as long as they work hard and care about learning.

So let’s get something straight: You don’t have to kiss my ass or crack a joke for me to get me to like you. Sure, I may crack a joke, but it’s not so you like me. It’s so you can (I hope) have an hour or so a day where you can LAUGH AND LEARN, where you can be comfortable, where you can discover that academics don’t have to be boring. That’s a strength of mine, I think—that I try hard to create a comfortable atmosphere. The weakness is that for those who choose to keep quiet, who sit at the back of the room, leave as quickly as possible, and never crack a smile: you may think I have favorites and that you’re not one of them.

You’re probably right, but YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE. My theory is that some don’t have it in their personalities to be sociable in the classroom. But I also argue you can still be a “favorite” no matter your personality.

Let’s end with ten very simple, common sense tips. If you don’t like that your professors have favorites or if you’ve ever felt that you weren’t one of the favorites, then try these tips. I promise that they make a difference. Trust me. I’m a communication teacher, after all :)

1. Keep eye contact during lectures and discussions. We want to know you’re paying attention.

2. Attempt a smile! Even if we’re not funny, when teachers try to make a joke, give us a smile. You’d be amazed how a classroom tone changes with a few smiles.

3. Keep cell phones on silent and out of sight. Resist checking them during class.

4. Be on time, and don’t miss classes without reasonable excuses.

5. Show a desire to improve. Read comments on work, not just the grade. Focus on those comments and you’ll see an improvement in your grade.

6. Share comments and questions. It may not be in your personality to speak up in front of the entire class, but at least make an effort to talk to your professor before or after class every now and then, even if it’s a simple, “I really enjoyed the reading you assigned. I just wanted to tell you that.”

7. Complete work on time, without excuses.

8. Never roll your eyes.

9. Take notes, especially when we ask you to do so. The student who is “above taking notes” for any reason is never a favorite. Write something down for the love of God!

10. Like cell phones, stay off laptops and tablets. We know how easy it is to be distracted and minimize Facebook when we walk by you. Some things are better old fashioned—use a notebook and pen. Or if you MUST use tech for whatever reason, at least politely ask about it. “I prefer to take notes on my tablet. I promise that’s all I am doing. Is that ok with you?” That student is already a favorite for expressing such courtesy, I guarantee! And accept the answer even if it is a no.

In short, I say this: All of my students are my favorites until THEY do something that negatively affects learning or the classroom atmosphere. Being on your phone: That’s a distraction that affects learning, for example. Your personality is irrelevant. I can adapt to the most outspoken person or to the shyest person in the classroom. Both are favorites as long as they care about learning.

And seriously, smile. Look me in the eye and smile now and then. That simple non-verbal connection goes such a long way.

What do you think? Teachers: What would you add to the list? Do you agree with my ideas on favorites? Students: Have you ever thought you weren’t a favorite? Why so? This was my fifteen minute spontaneous rant on “favorites.” I’m sure I missed a few ideas and would be happy to discuss and consider more. 

2015: The Writing Journey Continues

I looked back on my winter break goal list and am sitting here smiling, enjoying the first real snow of the season, and feeling accomplished. Nope, I didn’t complete every item on my to-do list, but I sure did a lot. Since I’m devoting this blog primarily to my writing journey, I’ll focus on that for my supportive readers.

Two great things happened this winter break. First, I finished another novel! I played with a very different genre, but it feels as exciting as my last book that I completed over the summer. Clearly, I only need more breaks to be so productive.

Second, my first book finally received full manuscript requests! For those who don’t know, the road to publication is long and full of detours and road blocks. I’m sure those details need no explanation. It’s tough. But if you love it, you stick with it. Most agents/publishers want a query, a one page letter summarizing your project, and a sample chapter or two. The vast majority of those get rejected without anyone reading your book. It’s heartbreaking. But I finally broke through another ceiling, and my confidence is higher than ever. Agents have started requesting my full manuscript. They’ve liked the project synopsis and my writing sample, and I’ve sent in the full work. That gives me great hope that it’s a book worth pursuing. Perhaps it will need more revisions, and that’s fine. I love it more every time I revise. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll get that phone call, the one where a professional wants to represent me and take on my book as their project. That’s the dream call I’m waiting on at the moment, if the representative has what I’m looking for also.

It helped to detach and to write something different. Last summer’s book is a thriller, a horror adventure that is pure fun. I find myself laughing and getting pumped every time I look at it. Book two is a character story, a coming-of-age youth tale about love and heartbreak. Sure, it’s been told a thousand times, but I have my own unique twists and turns. It makes me laugh out loud at parts and, I must confess, there are chapters that make me cry. If it can do the same for its readers, I’ll be beyond happy. What is art if it doesn’t evoke a physical response in the receiver?

I sent my last book to a friend who asked to read it just today. I’m on the full revision process now, and it helps to have trusted friends read and provide critical feedback. From there, I will revise and send out to possible agents and publishers. Who knows: By this time next year, perhaps I’ll have two books on the shelves in completely different genres! What a dream! But that’s what I recommend for all my students and friends: Dreams and goals, no matter how big or small, keep us moving forward.

I feel very good (my head is still very humble, I assure you), if for no other reason that I’ve “completed” two manuscripts in one year. That’s my new goal: a book every summer and every winter.

I created a new writing space at home too. Perhaps I’ll post about it with pictures. I got a brand new computer and redesigned a room as my home office, my personal writing space. I received an antique computer as a gift from the sweetest person I know who said, “Every great author should have a typewriter.” It’s meant to inspire, and the day I opened it, I received my first request for a full manuscript from an agent. I’d say it’s working! I also have a ton of pictures and collectibles, all things meant to motivate. It’s a terrific room, a room I hope where I will produce a dozen more great works.

There’s one other cool thing I discovered this break. I went through some old college notebooks (yes, I’m the nerd who saved EVERYTHING). I took a creative writing class in college, and I re-read all of my stories and feedback from my professor. One comment from her read: “I think you’re meant to write novels!” I had forgotten about that comment, but it was a pleasant surprise to find. I hope she’s right.

If you’re a trusted friend, I’d love to have you read either of my manuscripts and receive genuine, critical feedback. Just let me know. I'm still shy and don't like the idea of forcing a book upon someone to read.

If you’re an online supporter, thanks for that. I hope all of your dreams come true, and that someday, we both get to talk about this exciting process, this journey of writing and publication, AFTER we’ve had successful books. I love nothing more than doing something that may inspire others. We learn so much from all of our journeys to success. I hope I’ve inspired several in my teaching career and my fitness and martial arts endeavors. I hope to inspire current and future writers as well.

Wish us all luck on this beautiful ride.