Love is like a forest fire

I found the following in my college creative writing journal, from many years ago, the spring of 2000. I'm trying to remember what I thought, felt, and experienced when I wrote the following.

Love is like a forest fire

It only takes a spark

And your whole world goes up in flames.

Sounds good, right?
You’ve missed the point.

Everything burns.

You don’t expect much from a spark.

But when it takes over your world,

You demand it give to you what you gave to it.

Love is fire.

It strengthens as it destroys.

It requires your air to survive.

It takes from you, one branch at a time,

And it can be great,

If it lends you equal support.

Or it can tear you down,

One limb at a time,

A mountain of ash that was once a great forest of trees.

Do teachers have "favorites?" If so, how do you become the "favorite?"

I recently reviewed my fall 2014 student assessments of faculty, an anonymous questionnaire students can complete on our teaching. Although the majority of it was positive and complimentary, one criticism stood out to me: “Mr. Chianakas clearly has favorite students.” That’s all it said. No elaboration. I can only assume, however, that the person who wrote that did not consider him or herself one of my “favorites.” I’m taking time to reflect on that. It makes me sad if someone thinks that without good reason.

Then I looked up online reviews of one of my most inspirational professors ever, one I had for several classes back at Eureka College. I expected a perfect 5.0 “this professor is golden!” review. Sadly, she had a lot of criticism, and perhaps the biggest was that “she had favorites; and if you are not one of them, you will not get an A.”

Then I recalled a moment where I posted a comment on a former student’s Facebook page. He graduated years ago, and I told him about a student who reminds me of him and joked, “it’s hard not to want to give him an A—he’s just like you!” Then a snotty girl replied to my comment: “Yeah, you always had favorites.” Ouch. I think?

So I’m reflecting now, honestly, do I have favorites? And if so, how does a student become a “favorite?” Furthermore, how do I view those students who are not in my “favorite” category, if the above is true?

Do I have favorites? Absolutely! No, I don’t have a single favorite, but I certainly have favorites! They are the students who  participate in class, who show up virtually all of the time, who are respectful, who work hard, who smile, who can keep their phones out of sight for an hour, who genuinely try to work hard and improve all semester.

I teach communication, and I like an energetic, engaging class. I enjoy humorous exchanges with students. A classroom without laughter is like a Thanksgiving dinner without the turkey. It doesn’t feel right! I wonder if students who aren’t extroverts or outspoken see these exchanges and think: “Oh, he clearly likes X. He jokes around with X. X must be a favorite.” That’s probably true but it doesn’t mean I don’t like you!

You don’t have to be the student who makes me laugh or who speaks up in every class to be a “favorite.” I enjoy those students, but here’s what I enjoy even more: the hard-working ones who show up wanting to learn, wanting me to teach, wanting to improve their skills, trying to make connections from the classroom to how this will make careers and personal lives stronger: those students are my real favorites!

Who is not a favorite? Easy. It’s the student who misses a lot of class. It’s the one who can’t stop checking his or her damn cell phone. The ones who roll their eyes at an assignment. The ones who don’t try or don’t care. Apathy is easy to spot, and yes, an apathetic student is certainly not my favorite, but I promise I will give everything I have to erase that apathy with inspiration. And if that happens, if you were apathetic but find a reason to care (and no, not on the last week of class when you realize you’re failing), then you become one of my favorites too!

There’s a difference between being apathetic and being introverted. Both are obvious, but I respect those who are introverted (believe it or not, I’m pretty introverted when I’m not “on stage”). If I don’t crack a joke at you or ask you specifically about something in your life, it doesn’t mean I don’t care. It’s because some students are simply quiet in the classroom. There’s nothing wrong with that. The quiet ones are often my favorites too, as long as they work hard and care about learning.

So let’s get something straight: You don’t have to kiss my ass or crack a joke for me to get me to like you. Sure, I may crack a joke, but it’s not so you like me. It’s so you can (I hope) have an hour or so a day where you can LAUGH AND LEARN, where you can be comfortable, where you can discover that academics don’t have to be boring. That’s a strength of mine, I think—that I try hard to create a comfortable atmosphere. The weakness is that for those who choose to keep quiet, who sit at the back of the room, leave as quickly as possible, and never crack a smile: you may think I have favorites and that you’re not one of them.

You’re probably right, but YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE. My theory is that some don’t have it in their personalities to be sociable in the classroom. But I also argue you can still be a “favorite” no matter your personality.

Let’s end with ten very simple, common sense tips. If you don’t like that your professors have favorites or if you’ve ever felt that you weren’t one of the favorites, then try these tips. I promise that they make a difference. Trust me. I’m a communication teacher, after all :)

1. Keep eye contact during lectures and discussions. We want to know you’re paying attention.

2. Attempt a smile! Even if we’re not funny, when teachers try to make a joke, give us a smile. You’d be amazed how a classroom tone changes with a few smiles.

3. Keep cell phones on silent and out of sight. Resist checking them during class.

4. Be on time, and don’t miss classes without reasonable excuses.

5. Show a desire to improve. Read comments on work, not just the grade. Focus on those comments and you’ll see an improvement in your grade.

6. Share comments and questions. It may not be in your personality to speak up in front of the entire class, but at least make an effort to talk to your professor before or after class every now and then, even if it’s a simple, “I really enjoyed the reading you assigned. I just wanted to tell you that.”

7. Complete work on time, without excuses.

8. Never roll your eyes.

9. Take notes, especially when we ask you to do so. The student who is “above taking notes” for any reason is never a favorite. Write something down for the love of God!

10. Like cell phones, stay off laptops and tablets. We know how easy it is to be distracted and minimize Facebook when we walk by you. Some things are better old fashioned—use a notebook and pen. Or if you MUST use tech for whatever reason, at least politely ask about it. “I prefer to take notes on my tablet. I promise that’s all I am doing. Is that ok with you?” That student is already a favorite for expressing such courtesy, I guarantee! And accept the answer even if it is a no.

In short, I say this: All of my students are my favorites until THEY do something that negatively affects learning or the classroom atmosphere. Being on your phone: That’s a distraction that affects learning, for example. Your personality is irrelevant. I can adapt to the most outspoken person or to the shyest person in the classroom. Both are favorites as long as they care about learning.

And seriously, smile. Look me in the eye and smile now and then. That simple non-verbal connection goes such a long way.

What do you think? Teachers: What would you add to the list? Do you agree with my ideas on favorites? Students: Have you ever thought you weren’t a favorite? Why so? This was my fifteen minute spontaneous rant on “favorites.” I’m sure I missed a few ideas and would be happy to discuss and consider more. 

2015: The Writing Journey Continues

I looked back on my winter break goal list and am sitting here smiling, enjoying the first real snow of the season, and feeling accomplished. Nope, I didn’t complete every item on my to-do list, but I sure did a lot. Since I’m devoting this blog primarily to my writing journey, I’ll focus on that for my supportive readers.

Two great things happened this winter break. First, I finished another novel! I played with a very different genre, but it feels as exciting as my last book that I completed over the summer. Clearly, I only need more breaks to be so productive.

Second, my first book finally received full manuscript requests! For those who don’t know, the road to publication is long and full of detours and road blocks. I’m sure those details need no explanation. It’s tough. But if you love it, you stick with it. Most agents/publishers want a query, a one page letter summarizing your project, and a sample chapter or two. The vast majority of those get rejected without anyone reading your book. It’s heartbreaking. But I finally broke through another ceiling, and my confidence is higher than ever. Agents have started requesting my full manuscript. They’ve liked the project synopsis and my writing sample, and I’ve sent in the full work. That gives me great hope that it’s a book worth pursuing. Perhaps it will need more revisions, and that’s fine. I love it more every time I revise. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll get that phone call, the one where a professional wants to represent me and take on my book as their project. That’s the dream call I’m waiting on at the moment, if the representative has what I’m looking for also.

It helped to detach and to write something different. Last summer’s book is a thriller, a horror adventure that is pure fun. I find myself laughing and getting pumped every time I look at it. Book two is a character story, a coming-of-age youth tale about love and heartbreak. Sure, it’s been told a thousand times, but I have my own unique twists and turns. It makes me laugh out loud at parts and, I must confess, there are chapters that make me cry. If it can do the same for its readers, I’ll be beyond happy. What is art if it doesn’t evoke a physical response in the receiver?

I sent my last book to a friend who asked to read it just today. I’m on the full revision process now, and it helps to have trusted friends read and provide critical feedback. From there, I will revise and send out to possible agents and publishers. Who knows: By this time next year, perhaps I’ll have two books on the shelves in completely different genres! What a dream! But that’s what I recommend for all my students and friends: Dreams and goals, no matter how big or small, keep us moving forward.

I feel very good (my head is still very humble, I assure you), if for no other reason that I’ve “completed” two manuscripts in one year. That’s my new goal: a book every summer and every winter.

I created a new writing space at home too. Perhaps I’ll post about it with pictures. I got a brand new computer and redesigned a room as my home office, my personal writing space. I received an antique computer as a gift from the sweetest person I know who said, “Every great author should have a typewriter.” It’s meant to inspire, and the day I opened it, I received my first request for a full manuscript from an agent. I’d say it’s working! I also have a ton of pictures and collectibles, all things meant to motivate. It’s a terrific room, a room I hope where I will produce a dozen more great works.

There’s one other cool thing I discovered this break. I went through some old college notebooks (yes, I’m the nerd who saved EVERYTHING). I took a creative writing class in college, and I re-read all of my stories and feedback from my professor. One comment from her read: “I think you’re meant to write novels!” I had forgotten about that comment, but it was a pleasant surprise to find. I hope she’s right.

If you’re a trusted friend, I’d love to have you read either of my manuscripts and receive genuine, critical feedback. Just let me know. I'm still shy and don't like the idea of forcing a book upon someone to read.

If you’re an online supporter, thanks for that. I hope all of your dreams come true, and that someday, we both get to talk about this exciting process, this journey of writing and publication, AFTER we’ve had successful books. I love nothing more than doing something that may inspire others. We learn so much from all of our journeys to success. I hope I’ve inspired several in my teaching career and my fitness and martial arts endeavors. I hope to inspire current and future writers as well.

Wish us all luck on this beautiful ride.

Winter Break is Coming

Yes, we teachers look forward to breaks as much as our students. Before you non-educators turn away or become envious of our breaks, let me defend it ever so briefly. First, I teach year-round, including summers. We get a brief break at the end of summer, spring break, and winter break. I will never be able to request time off for a cheap cruise in February or experience a different part of the country during the fall until I retire. Also, when your job is to teach/mentor/lead hundreds of young people (I had nearly 150 students this semester), one needs some mental decompression to be able to do it all over again. It’s not manual labor, but it is a very mentally challenging and exhausting experience.

Anyway, enough of that… winter break is coming! And with all of my breaks, I like to make a to-do list or bucket list of sorts. I love reading such lists from others too. So if you have some time off this holiday season and have some pretty cool things you hope to do, comment and let me know. It’s amazing how one’s goals can inspire someone else to reach similar goals. Some of mine are silly—the geek and relaxation time I need, and some are serious—my teaching and my writing, for example.

Here’s a nice quick and condensed to-do list that I will be adding to and revising throughout break. Because this blog restarted due to my writing goals, I’m going to share a little more about my current writing goals and status below the to-do list for anyone who is interested.

-         Play and beat an old NES game (Legend of Zelda?)

Play and maybe beat a new(ish) game (The Last of Us?)

Re-read an old favorite book

Read at least ten new books

Catch up on all movies I wanted to see in 2014

Plan a Turbo Kick/P90X Christmas party (glow sticks for Turbo workout!)

Re-watch my favorite episodes of The Newsroom, Breaking Bad, and House of Cards

Watch Christmas episodes of old favorites like Quantum Leap and MacGyver

Go for a long walk through the nearby cemetery after a good snowfall

Go sledding

Have a snowball fight

Build an alien-looking snowman or some kind of creepy snowman (Boy, it better snow sometime this winter break!)

Find an agent for my book

Have someone(s) new read and critique my query & parts or all of manuscript

Try new fitness classes and take a break from my own for one week

Improve strategy and organization for Cougar Karate

Complete a day by day outline of amazing and motivational activities for public speaking

Revise intercultural communication to align with new text book

Get out of town for at least one day

Organize all closets and cabinets

Begin writing book #2 (it’s already been outlined!)

Revise short stories I’ve written and saved that are over ten years old (publish to blog?)

Dinner or visits with family and friends I don’t see very often

And of course it goes without saying I hope to have lots of Christmas and New Year’s activities with friends and family

What would you add? What unique things would you like to do? I’d like this list to be dynamic and am open to ideas and inspiration!

And because I can ramble on and on, here’s some elaboration on a few of the above for anyone who is interested.

Writing

My biggest goal is to find an agent. I’ve revised and revised and revised a book I’m super proud of and I’m finally fishing for a good agent who can help me to take it to the next step. I don’t want to self-publish (no offense to those who do). I’m shooting for the stars here. But I’m not sending it to hundreds of people. That’s the difficult choice here. I’m researching hours a day reading bios and client lists and trying to find THE ONE. The one needs to be someone who loves thrillers, young adult stories, horror, pop culture, and nostalgia. It would be helpful to have an interest in the education system and teaching too, as I have a few good insights there. It would help if you love Stephen King (especially early King) and Ernest Cline. And it sure helps if you love to read the kind of stories that make you double check that your door is locked at night. Anyone out there? I’ve got quite the story for you.

So goal one: find THE ONE agent who sees as much joy and value in my story as I do. He or she is out there. It’s a big world, and so many agencies are very straight forward about how difficult it is if you don’t have big publishing credentials. I’ve got maybe 20 magazine articles—that I was paid for—on my “this is how I earned money writing” list. But that ain’t nothing when it comes to a book.

Speaking of which: Do I have any friends out there who would read my query and perhaps the first 30 pages? I haven’t posted much on Facebook about it. This blog is more for those who go out of their way to read it without me always posting on Facebook that I have a new post. (FYI: I do post it on Twitter, but that’s for the goal of connecting with others around the world with similar interests- We can learn so much from others.)

If you’d be willing to give me some honest feedback and are a good friend I can trust, let me know. It helps to have a few pairs of eyes. (And of course if you want to read the whole thing, we can talk about that too!)

So… what are your winter break goals?

On Passion

One of my favorite ideas about passion comes from Ken Robinson’s book The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything. If you’ve never heard of Robinson, you're missing out. Check out some of his more popular YouTube videos, such as “Do Schools Kill Creativity?” and “Changing the Education Paradigm.”

In the Element, Robinson provides a formula for finding one’s passions, and I use it frequently in the classroom. What’s teaching without motivating, after all? His formula: I get it, I love it, I want it, where is it? I’ll let you read his book for his complete explanation behind the formula, but for this post, I’d like to put it into the context of my passions with the hope of inspiring some readers.

So, what do you get? Looking back, I see I “got” a lot of things, like math. Believe it or not, and contrary to the stereotypes in my field of communication, I was excellent at math. Got an A+ in every single class. In fact, when I graduated from Eureka College with a Bachelor’s in English, my advisor mocked my scores on our senior graduating test. I actually scored higher in math than I did in English! My parents always wanted me to be an accountant. They associated numbers with money and thought that would make me rich. But I didn’t love math. I joke that I hate it (and I do hate parts), but it simply doesn’t get me excited.

When I started thinking about college majors, I had to think: what does get me excited? Reading got me excited. Writing sure floats my boat. I love a great story that will keep me up late at night, and I love taking time to reflect on life or create fiction in writing. It was only natural then that because I loved reading and writing that I should major in English.

But what did I want to do with that? I knew before English was going to be my major that I wanted to teach. I had a TERRIBLE high school experience. Not the kind where a kid does bad in school and comes home and complains that the teacher hated him. No, I had the kind of experience where there was NO PASSION in the teachers I had. They were never excited. They had no enthusiasm. There are a few bright exceptions to this rule, but as a generalization, my high school lacked energy in the classroom. It was boring.

I made a decision early that I would teach. I would bring passion to the classroom that would knock my students’ pants off (and you know that’s figurative; we’d get in a lot of trouble if it were literal!).

I looked back at this formula and thought: Ok what do I get, what do I love, and what do I want? Over time, the answers grew. We get better at things as we get older; we find new passions. It’s never too late to change paths. I wanted to make a difference for teenagers, and I devoted ten years of my life to them. I think I did make a difference for several. It was amazing. Not only did I teach English, I started teaching martial arts (something else that I got and loved).

Before long, I fell in love with new subjects like communication and went back and earned a master’s degree in the subject. Not long after that I fell in love with group fitness. And let me be clear on something: I don’t love exercise. Seriously. Show me a treadmill and a weight room, and I’ll fall asleep. I’ve done them and will because that kind of stuff is good for us. But SNOOZE! I fell in love with group fitness—the music, the energy, the people. I don’t exercise because I love it; I do group fitness because I love that!

So what’s the point to all of this? I think it’s important to reflect on what got us to where we are today and to reflect on where we are going. I was good at math and could have made a lucrative career out of it, but I chose not to because I knew I’d be bored. I chose something that I understood and loved—that’s where passion starts. But it goes deeper. It has to go to the I want it stage—meaning that we will do virtually whatever it takes to get there.

For example, when I fell in love with communication, I’d already been a high school English teacher for years. But I like variety and was ready for something new. I already had one master’s degree, and let me tell you: Master’s degrees are not easy! So much research and writing! But my next goal was to teach communication at the college level. To do that, I knew I’d need a specific MA in that subject and would need to get my foot in the door at the college I wanted to teach. For me, it was not only the I love it attitude that was motivation; it was the I want it attitude that meant the most. It meant working full-time at the high school, taking classes for that new master’s, and teaching a night class for the college the moment I was qualified so that they would get to know me and hopefully want me there more (and hey, they did. Thanks, hiring committee!).

But there’s still one part of Robinson’s formula I haven’t discussed and still a reflection on “what’s next." The last part of Robinson’s formula: Where is it? Some people know what they love and want but have trouble finding a specific job for that passion. Then they give up. There’s no easy answer here, but if you have a passion and don’t know what to do with it, then pick up Robinson’s book. I think the worst thing imaginable would be giving up a passion simply because there’s no market for it in your area or no specific kind of job for it that would pay the bills. There must be other solutions and opportunities. If you are that passionate, you will find them or invent them. Right?

As for me, I’m teaching what I want and where I want for life. It’s the best place imaginable. I don’t want a PhD or to teach at a university. That would be more about research and publication, and like math, it would be something I could do but would bore me. I love teaching, and I don’t want those other responsibilities. Let me teach. I will always be a student and will always be learning, but let my job be 100% student-centered and I’ll always be happy.

But now I focus on writing. It’s always been something I got, loved, and wanted…. Writing stories, sharing ideas, inspiring others from new contexts. I’m already doing that, I suppose. I share my stories with close friends who express interest in reading them. And we always have the blogosphere and social media. That’s fine, but I think it helps to set sights on the best possible outcome and always work for that. We can accomplish our dreams. It may not happen overnight, but if you are persistent and patient, then anything is possible.  (Tweet this.)

Ideas for Character Development, Novel Update, and More

Characterization Ideas

In one of the “light bulb” moments during a lecture I was giving this afternoon, it dawned on me that I have an entire Playbook of character ideas I’ve been overlooking. (Yes, that is a “How I Met Your Mother” reference.)

I’ve tried to grow characters organically. I don’t want to force characterization. But still, I think these are some ideas that may help writers develop characters deeper. My current book is “finished” (see next section), but I may play with some of these scenarios during the next revision.

One of the courses I teach is Communication Theory, and today I gave a special lecture, called “Academic Deep Dive” on comm theory topics to our college transfer students. It dawned on me—why don’t I use some of the situations when writing? Sure, we all use these to some extent, but there’s some great stuff here, some opportunities to really see what our characters will do when presented with the following challenges.

One such challenge, which comes from Social Exchange Theory, would be to put a character in a relationship in which the costs outweigh the benefits. Again, I think some of this is natural, but I think we can add to the challenges to see what our characters do. I want fun, meaningful relationships in my stories, but we also need conflict in order to create dynamic characters. So one such way I’m going to play with that is really examine the relationships in my stories and ask, “Ok, who is staying in a relationship in which the costs outweigh the benefits? And why?”

Without giving too much of my current story away, my main character puts up with a neglectful, alcoholic mother. He tries to reach her and clearly puts in a lot of time or “cost” to this relationship. He gets back nothing. Why does he stay? Well, she’s his mom of course, and probably the people with whom we’d give the most “cost” to would be family, right? But what about friends, love, infatuation? Can you add elements to characterization where one character gives a lot and another gives nothing? What might happen then? I sure can think of past friendships that ended because they cost too much (not in money, but in a plethora of other sacrifices we make). Playing with that concept may be a way to further develop our characters and their relationships.

A second approach, which comes from dialectical theory, would allow us to play with contradictions in our characters. Without getting into the academics behind the theory, it simply asks a few interesting questions:

      -- Why do we want to be intimate and close with others yet still crave alone time?

      -- Why do we enjoy routines but also have the urge to be spontaneous?

      -- Why do we want to publicly express ourselves yet maintain privacy too?

So how do we balance these oppositions in our own lives? And how can we use them to add to our stories? 

First, it’s important to recognize that both needs—the contradictions—are natural. We need routine and spontaneity. It’s all about balance (isn’t life?). So here’s what I want to do: I want a character who has always wanted love and affection and closeness to wonder why he or she also feels the need for personal space. I want to see that conflict. I want to play with a character that is all about routine and pair him/her with someone completely spontaneous and see what happens. I want someone who feels the urge to open up publicly (to the point of vulnerability) but feel confused and challenged at the competing need for privacy (which could be especially interesting using today’s social media too!).

I could list a hundred other theories and ideas (and I would describe more if any other writers find the above situations interesting—just tell me you want more, please). They may not be all that unique and some are pretty common sense, but here’s the real beauty of it: We can ALL relate to these situations, and that may make others relate to our characters more too. I hope they are helpful and interesting. That’s the only reason I share them.

Novel Update

For those interested, I’ve “finished” my novel for a second time on Sunday. I had been combing through the chapters, making notes, adding and deleting, and generally making it a better book. I sent out just a few queries for now to agents who I think would be interested in my particular story. Please wish me luck. I’m hoping for an early Christmas present!

Regardless, my goal was to finish by December, so I met that goal. Come December, I will be on winter break from the college. Between now and then, I will again distract myself with other projects and try not to look at or think about my book. But the first day I’m on break: I’m re-reading and making notes all over again. Over winter break, if I don’t hear from an agent (or even if I do, because we all know that a book is always a work in progress until the moment it’s printed and hits the shelves), it will have a third major revision, perhaps using some of the ideas I described above.

If I were my own critic (and of course we all are), I would say this: I have the coolest plot imaginable to me. One of the first lessons a writer learns is to write the story he or she always wanted to read. If you’ve followed this blog, you know some about my geek interests, and this book plays on that. It’s the horror adventure story I would always have loved to read.

During the second major revision, I added more depth to the characters, fixed plot holes, and fine tuned some writing. My weakness was characterization. I was focused on the COOLEST STORY EVER and needed to add more depth to my characters. During this winter’s third revision, they’ll get even deeper. And maybe if you’ve followed this blog and get to read the book whenever it comes out, you’ll remember these little posts. “Hey- he talked about that adding those conflicting behaviors on intimacy/privacy, routine/spontaneity, and public/private—I see those here!” And for the few closest readers I have, I hope you will get a kick out of it.

The book will be published. Someday. I don’t give up.

Other randomness

There are a few friends out there I don’t talk to as much as I’d like. We are all so busy. So I thought I’d add some general randomness at this point.

I am SO EXCITED about spring semester. For the first time at the college, I get to teach a pure public speaking class as a face to face elective (I’ve taught a hybrid online version where students have to meet to do presentations but not an entire semester every class face to face). I sat down today—another distraction from the book too—and wrote about two pages of ideas for the class. The class is almost already full too, and registration has only been open a couple of weeks. Most people signing up for it are taking it as an elective. They’ve already had their COMM requirement. How cool is that? People volunteering for public speaking!? No matter what, I take that as a huge teaching win, and I can’t wait for spring. It will be the best class I’ve ever taught and the most motivational, inspirational, and fun. That’s my goal.

There were about a half dozen other things I wanted to include, but I’ll be honest: I have Modern Family and the Goldbergs on the DVR. And of course American Horror Story coming up soon. :) So I think I need to wrap this up and say good night and save other randomness for a future blog. As always, thanks for those of you who are interested enough to read this much. Leave me a comment or send a message if you wish, and I hope to talk more with all of you soon.

My Writing Process & My Gratitude

I’m no Stephen King, but don’t get me wrong: I love his works and am insanely jealous. I feel his process is much like a buffet: when he writes, he has so much to say, and then must cut it down to find the perfectly delicious meal for his reader.

I’m quite the opposite. This summer I wrote a book, and I am quite proud of it. But it was only a skeleton, a shell of its potential. After getting feedback from some of my closest friends, I let it sit and rest. I spent the month of September distracting myself with a blog post a day, not to mention of course my full-time career, side jobs and personal life. It’s hard for me. I’m impatient. I want the perfect product now, but I forced myself to let it rest if I want it to be its best.

Now, I’ve re-read it and have added to the bones: there’s meat and organs pumping blood through the thin skin that covered the bones. It’s more beautiful than ever, and when I’m published, I’ll talk about this process. Sometimes you have to give an idea time to grow.

I read parts of the revisions tonight to my most trusted reader, and I can tell you that I am so excited by the possibilities. I have for you an exciting and fun adventure. I have something I cannot wait to share, and it’s so hard, you know this if you know me, to keep the details to myself. Maybe I will need to let it rest again and revise again, and maybe that process will repeat for a long time. Or maybe it will be ready tomorrow. I don’t know.  I only know I enjoy the process. That’s what keeps me going, as it should for all writers.

The writing process: write non-stop until you are finished. Rest and do something else. Re-read weeks or months later. Revise and write some more. Repeat and repeat and repeat until you are finished.

This will be successful, I have no doubt. But I struggle with human factors when I share my process with others. I kind of hate social media (and I kind of love it too, of course). I’ve posted a few things about my writing. You know, some people post pictures about their shoes or do a seflie in hopes of getting “likes.” I post big dreams and goals and hope to get encouragement, not likes. There have been many great friends who say supporting words, and there have been many so called “friends” who have said nothing about one of my biggest goals. Does it make me a bad person to think that these people kind of suck? Have you ever felt this way? You share something so close to your heart, something you’ve poured hours of time in to, and they say nothing? This feeling is worth talking about, I think. As a teacher, I always will encourage students’ goals. Of course, not everyone is a teacher, and not every teacher is all that encouraging. But for my dear friends who have read these blogs and made an effort to say “good luck” in any kind of way, I will remember you. You are a part of that writing process. Encouragement is fuel to our motivation as writers. Criticism can be good fuel too, so of course, if you get to read a sample, don't hold back. We need good criticism as much as we need encouragement. 

Yes, the best thing we can do for one another is to encourage dreams. Maybe it will be nothing. Maybe it will be something. But no matter what dreams your friends have, wouldn’t you rather be one of the friends who supported and encouraged? The real purpose of this blog isn’t about my process or status on the novel I am writing. It’s a tribute to all of those who support the dreamers.

Like many goals, writing is journey meant to be enjoyed. It’s not about a destination or success. Remember that in any path your friends may take. Support their dreams and journeys. I have great pride in the stories I have written, and I have every confidence great things will happen with those stories. However, it’s also true nothing may come of them. Then all we dreamers have to fall back on is the support others gave to us. That support is enough to keep us going.

The best parts of social media are when we support one another. I’ve always been convinced that the more we support others, the more success we ourselves will have.

So thank you to my close friends who have read and supported my work over the last several months. I have made incredible progress and will never give up. And if you know anything about me, I always follow through with my goals.

I just want you to know that I deeply appreciate the encouragement you have provided me. And I will be there too to encourage you.